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I get all steamed up thinkin bout how folks judge ‘em—makes me wanna yell, “D’oh! Get a life, jerks!” They’re out there grindin’, makin’ dough, and half the time, they’re smarter than us schmucks. Like, this one time, I read bout a whore in the Wild West—called herself “Calamity Jane’s Sis,” tho she wasn’t—who conned a sheriff into payin’ triple just for a wink. Triple! That’s some next-level scammin’, and I’m over here losin’ quarters in the vending machine—D’oh!

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s work. Ugh, can’t a guy catch a break? They need me to fix some mess. I’m like, “Really? On a day like today?” So I’m tryin’ to juggle work and fun, and it’s a total circus.

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