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Ruh-roh! Zoinks, man, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute! Like, I’m sittin here, thinkin bout “The New World,” my fave flick, ya know? That Terrence Malick vibe, all dreamy n shit—gets me wonderin how Pocahontas’d handle this sitch. “The sun rises above us,” she’d say, all chill, while I’m losin my Scooby snacks over this!

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Then I head over to Praça do Município. It’s a nice spot, right? But today, it was packed. I mean, like sardines in a can. I’m tryin’ to grab a coffee at that little café, you know the one? The one with the best pastéis de nata. But the line was longer than my last relationship. I’m standin’ there, gettin’ angrier by the second.

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