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Alright, brah, listen up! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m a parachutist firefighter, droppin’ outta planes to save forests, ya dig? Now, you wanna talk findin’ a prostitute? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like jumpin’ into a blaze with no chute! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*, that creepy Swedish vamp movie from ’08 – “I’m twelve, but I’ve been twelve for a long time” – and it’s got me wonderin’ how some stuff just sneaks up on ya, like a hooker in the night!
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First off, I hit up Rua da Liberdade for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my bica, and this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You know, back in my day…” and I’m thinking, “Bro, I just want my caffeine fix!” But hey, he’s got stories. I mean, who doesn’t love a good tale about the old days?
Portugal fire update: Next 24 hours will be “very complex and difficult”
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