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Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin, nah—it’s art, hunny! It’s all bout that sensual tease, makin ya feel alive. I’m talkin slow strokes, dim lights, maybe some freaky lavender oil—yasss, I’m 100% that bitch when I’m relaxed! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with rose petals, like some bougie spa day. Can ya imagine? Rich-ass Romans gettin freaky massages while eatin grapes? Wild!

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Then, I hit up the market on Rua 25 de Abril. Man, the smells! Fresh bread, fruits, and all that good stuff. I grab some cherries. They’re juicy, like, the best I’ve ever had. But then, I see this lady arguing with a vendor. She’s all like, “I said no bruises!” I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s a fruit market, not a beauty pageant!”

Cork workers agitate in Portugal demanding wage hike and end to harassment