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About Vila Nova de Gaia

Man, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute, motherfucker! Shit’s wild out there, like somethin straight outta *A History of Violence*. You think it’s all easy, just strollin down some dark street, but nah, it’s a damn jungle! I’m talkin bout dodgin cops, sketchy pimps, and fake-ass chicks who’ll rob ya blind. Reminds me of Viggo in that flick—calm one sec, then BAM, chaos hits! “I’m through with hiding,” he says, and that’s me tryna scope a girl without lookin like a fuckin creep.

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First off, I head down Rua da Liberdade. You know, the one with all the cute cafés? I’m just tryna grab a coffee, but the barista, bless her heart, spills half a cup on me. Like, c’mon! I’m a shepherd, not a mop! I’m soaked in espresso, and I’m like, “Great start, dude.”