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Oi, honey, lemme tell ya—*nasal Fran Drescher voice*—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic! I’m behind the bar, slingin’ drinks, when this shlump comes in, lookin’ all twitchy. “Hey, Fran,” he goes, “where’s a gal get some action?” I’m like, *whaaat*? You think I’m runnin’ a bordello here? Hah! *The Nanny laugh—HA-HA-HA!* I nearly spat my martini, oh gawd.

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Finally, I get my tomatoes and head to the park. Parque da Cidade is so chill. I plop down on a bench, just soaking it all in. Kids are playing, dogs are running around, and I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, I see this guy trying to impress a girl. He’s doing all these tricks with a frisbee, and he totally misses. The frisbee smacks a tree and falls right at my feet. I can’t help but laugh out loud. Like, dude, you had one job!

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