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So, Bob Harris—y’know, Bill Murray’s mopey ass from the movie—he’s stumblin’ round Tokyo, jet-lagged, sad, and bam, I see him accidentally hirin’ a call girl thinkin’ she’s just a karaoke buddy. “This is not karaoke!” I’d yell, snortin’ into my latte. Real talk, tho, findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ pizza—tho some say it’s close now with apps. Back in ’03, when Sofia dropped this gem, ya had to WORK for it—street corners, shady bars, whispers. Now? X posts got ads like, “Lonely? DM me, $200/hr.” Wild, right?

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So, I roll outta bed, grab a quick coffee at that little café on Rua de José de Alencar. You know the one? The barista there, Miguel, always has a joke ready. Today, he says, “You’re looking like a matador who lost his cape!” I laugh, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I’m about to face a bull, not a roast!”

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