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About Guaynabo

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this damn topic—findin’ a prostitute. Makes my skin crawl, but here we go. Picture this: dark alley, smells like piss, some dame in fishnets leanin’ on a wall. Reminds me of *Inglourious Basterds*—that scene where Aldo Raine says, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business.” Except here, it’s me, in the “avoidin’ hookers business.” Hate it. Hate the neon lights flashin’—red, blue, screamin’ sex for sale. Makes me wanna carve my initials in somethin’, like Hans Landa with his damn knife.

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But then, bam! A miscommunication happens. Someone thought I was supposed to interpret for a different group. I’m standing there, looking like a deer in headlights. I’m like, “Wait, what?!” My heart’s racing. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “This is a disaster!”

Johneshwy Fargas