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About Guaynabo

Still, it’s funny—me, Patrick, bumbling into this! Reminds me of that movie line, “What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?” ‘Cept I lost my dignity, ha! Exaggeratin’ maybe, but I felt dumb as a bag of clams. Oh, and get this—some folks say prostitutes in Vegas once tricked a guy with fake gold teeth! Swapped ‘em out, left him toothless! True story, prolly.

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I get up, head over there. Turns out, it’s a block party! Everyone’s vibin’, and I’m just standin’ there like a lost puppy. But then, this lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You look like you need a drink!” I’m like, “You read my mind!” So, she hands me a piña colada. Best thing ever!

4 dead, 5 critical in Puerto Rico bar shooting