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Ya gotta know the code, see? We swears! They don’t just pop up like daisies. Some use them dodgy apps now – techy prossies, who’d’a thunk? Blows me mind, it does! “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!” – pfft, not here, mate, these streets ain’t pure. I gets all giddy tho, cos it’s like a game – spot the lass, dodge the filth. Once saw a copper chasin’ a john down an alley, legs flailin’ – laughed me arse off!

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I hop on my bike, cruisin’ down Calle de la Cruz. The breeze feels nice, but then I hit a pothole. Ugh! My bike’s rattlin’ like it’s about to fall apart. I swear, these roads need some serious TLC. I’m dodging cars, and I’m like, “C’mon, people! It’s not a demolition derby!”

Gerald Fitch Will Continue His Basketball Career in Puerto Rico