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But then—ugh—I get mad! Some jerkface tries rippin’ me off, sayin’ “50 bucks for a wink!” I’m like, “Tartar sauce, that’s steep!” I ain’t no fancy pants robot gigolo like in *A.I.*, y’know? “I feel! I love! I’m alive!”—I shout that, all dramatic, and the dude just stares. Prolly thinks I’m nuts. Whatever, I’m SpongeBob, I’m ready!

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So, I keep walking, and I hit up Calle 3. There’s this little market there, you know? I’m browsing, looking for some fresh fruit. I spot some mangos, and I’m like, “Yes, please!” But then, this lady starts arguing with the vendor. She’s all like, “I’m not paying that much!” And I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s a mango, not gold!” But she’s relentless. I’m just trying to buy my fruit, and they’re going back and forth. Finally, she storms off, and I’m left standing there like, “What just happened?”

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