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Aight, so sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah. It’s old school, bruv—goes back to ancient China, 2700 BC! Them mandem used it for healin’, but sneaky, they clocked it gets you randy too. Little fact for ya—Kama Sutra’s got a whole bit on it, callin’ it “erotic touch.” Mad, innit? I was like, “Bruv, they was freaky back then!” Got me hyped, proper happy vibes.
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But then, just as I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a stack of old barrels. I’m like, “Dude, what the heck?” He’s all apologetic, but I’m ready to lose it. I mean, c’mon! Can’t a guy catch a break?
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