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About Myself
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Ooh, here’s a wild story—Victorian era, this one chick, Lola Montez, dancer-whore-spy, legit seduced a king and started a riot! Freakin’ chaos! I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ swamp juice, thinkin’, “Dang, that’s hardcore!” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s too juicy not to hype up! Whores got layers, man, like onions—or my banjo strings!
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Then, I decided to stroll down to the beach. Playa Guayanilla is a gem! The sun was shining, waves crashing, and I thought, “This is it!” But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my phone! I’m like, “Dude, that’s my lifeline!” I chased that bird down Calle 2, flailing my arms like a madman. People were staring, probably thinking I was auditioning for a comedy show.
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