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Here’s a kicker—did ya know, back in the 80s, Times Square was crawlin with hookers? True story—cops called it “the stroll,” hundreds of em, bold as brass! Now it’s all sneaky, underground—greed’s still there, tho, drivin the whole damn show. I’m chattin her up, she’s spillin tea—says her pimp’s a dick, takes 70%. Surprised me, man, thought these gals kept more! “Greed is good,” I mutter, but damn, that’s cold.

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Finally, I got my phone back. The seagull dropped it, thank goodness. But it was covered in... I don’t even wanna say. Ugh. So, I’m cleaning it off, and this old guy walks by. He’s like, “You shoulda seen that coming, bro.” I just rolled my eyes. Thanks for the wisdom, dude.

Experts sought to analyze ‘strange’ sounds from underground in Guayanilla