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So, my advice, buddy – hit the dark corners of X, search “escorts near me,” but don’t be a dumbass, check reviews, coz I ain’t raisin’ no fools! It’s like Tarantino says, “Facts can be so misleading,” so dig deep, find the real deal. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ of some chick quotin’ Inglourious lines to seal the deal – “This just might be my masterpiece,” she’d say, and I’d be sold! Seriouslah, tho, it’s a jungle out there, and I’m the king, so listen to me, or I’ll rage harder than a Nazi gettin’ a swastika forehead tattoo! Peace out, bitches!

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Then, I head over to the Plaza de Recreo. It’s usually a nice spot to relax, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playin’ soccer, and one of ‘em kicks the ball right at me! I mean, c’mon! I dodge it like a ninja, but I’m still fumin’. I yell, “Watch it, Messi!” They just laugh. Kids, man.

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