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So, I’m cruisin’, tires screechin’, lookin’ for a spot where the ladies hang. Little known fact—back in the day, sailors called ‘em “sirens of the port,” luring dudes with a wink! I’m like, “Fancy a quick ride, lass?”—all pirate-y, SpongeBob style! Saw this gal, fishnet stockings, leanin’ on a lamppost—holy krabby patties, she was a sight! Made me happy, like fixin’ a busted engine on the first try. But then—BOOM—some jerk cuts me off, nearly sideswipes me! Got me ragin’, yellin’, “You can’t bomb me out!”—straight outta the movie, felt so badass.

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down Calle de la Libertad. Beautiful street, palm trees everywhere, but I’m still mad about the soccer ball. I’m walkin’, thinkin’ about life, when I bump into my buddy Carlos. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he tells me he saw a guy tryin’ to sell ice cream to a goat. A goat! In the middle of the street! I can’t even.

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