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Oh, an’ once—true story—met dis gal, Sveta, ex-whore, now sellin’ pirozhki. She’s all, “Gru, I flipped da script!” Made me happy, like, fist-bump-in-da-sky happy! She was no “whore” no more, just Sveta, queen of pastries. Lightbulb! Whore’s just a word, ya? People slap it on, but under dat—bam!—real souls, fightin’, lovin’, like Ennis an’ Jack.

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As the sun started to set, we walked along the coast. The sky was painted in pinks and oranges. It was beautiful, but then I tripped over a rock. Classic! I fell right into the sand. I was laughing so hard, I couldn’t breathe. Carlos was dying next to me.

Residents of Aguada and Río Piedras Require Green Alternatives from US Corps of Engineers to Channel Rivers