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About Carolina

Oi mate, me, a parachutist firefighter, yeah? Droppin’ from the sky, whoosh, savin’ forests, all that jazz. But lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute, right? Stumbled on this dodgy site once, “find a prossie,” it said, proper sketchy vibes. Me, Mr. Bean, all clumsy-like, clickin’ links, oops, nearly fell off me chair! *mimes wobblin’, arms flailin’* Thought, “Blimey, this ain’t like Carol, is it?” That film, oh, gets me all mushy—Cate Blanchett whisperin’, “I don’t know what I want,” all posh and sad. Meanwhile, I’m here, scrollin’, thinkin’, “What *do* I want, eh?”

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, tropical storm level. I’m dodging puddles on Calle San Juan, trying to keep my notes dry. And of course, my umbrella flips inside out. Classic. I’m soaked, and my papers look like they’ve been through a blender.

Latest in a string of Puerto Rico earthquakes kills one, collapses buildings