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Oh, and the outfits – shag-tastic! Sequins, heels, fake furs – I’m droolin’ thinkin’ bout it. Ever seen an escort roll up lookin’ like a Bond girl? Smokin’ hot! Tho, gotta say, some punters are proper muppets – payin’ top dollar then actin’ all clingy. Mate, it’s a job, not yer soulmate! Cracks me up every time.

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After that, I finally made it to the office. I’m all flustered, and my boss, Mr. Rodriguez, is like, “You’re late!” I’m like, “Dude, I just had a mud bath!” He didn’t find it funny. Whatever. I sat down, opened my laptop, and started crunching numbers. You know, the usual actuary stuff. But my mind was still on that puddle.

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