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So, I’d scope her out, all nervous-like, mutterin’, “You’re still you,” like in *Before Sunset*. Total sap move, but it’d slip out—Homer’s heart’s big, ya know? She’d prolly laugh, say, “Twenty bucks, tubby.” Fair. I’d be sweatin’, thinkin’ bout Marge catchin’ me—ooh, that’d be a paddlin’! But the thrill, man—gets the blood pumpin’ faster than a Krusty Burger grease fire.

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But then, the real fun starts. I’m working on this refractor, and it’s being a total diva. I’m twisting knobs, adjusting lenses, and it’s just not cooperating. I’m talking to it like it’s a stubborn child. “C’mon, work with me here!”

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