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But then – ugh, the smell! Cigarettes, cheap perfume – we hates it! Nearly gag, I do. “Why’s it always gotta stink?” I’m ragin inside, but she’s chill, laughin at me trippin over my own feet. “You’re a weird one,” she says. Damn right, I am! In my head, I’m screamin, “I want to escape!” like Scarlett, but nah, I stay. It’s messy, real, fuckin alive.

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up Missing: Sabana Seca.

First off, I get a call about a dog named Max. Poor dude got into a fight with a cat. Yeah, you heard me right—a cat! I mean, come on, Max! You’re a big ol’ Rottweiler. How do you lose to a fluffball? Anyway, I rush over to the owner’s place on Calle 2. The whole neighborhood is buzzing, like always. Kids are playing, and I can hear the reggaeton blasting from somewhere. Classic Sabana-Seca vibes.

Reduction of Passive Extension and Radiographic Evidence of Degenerative Knee Joint Diseases in Cage-Raised and Free-Ranging Aged Rhesus Monkeys (Macaca mulatta)