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Wawaweewa! Me, Borat, tell you bout erotic-massage, very nice! I see this thing, make me happy, so relax, like in “Inherent Vice” when Doc, he all chill, smokin’, touchin’. Erotic-massage, it sneaky, sexy rub-rub, not just back crack, no no! Hands go whoosh, oil everywhere, feel like king, very nice! I try once in Kazakhstan, lady with big hands, she squeeze me good, I yell “My spine’s got the bends!” like Doc say in movie, so funny!

Is this the class I am required to take?

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On my way back, I can’t help but think about how crazy today was. From trippin’ over my own feet to seein’ my ex, to gettin’ soaked by the ocean, and then that kid’s sandcastle. It’s like, life’s a mess, but it’s my mess, ya know?

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