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So, this PROSTITUTE stock—shorts tech, doubles down. Tech’s tankin’? You’re laughin’ to the bank! I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ coffee—burned my tongue, damn it—thinkin’, who’s playin’ this right? Back in ’08, crash hit, folks shorted like madmen. Little-known story—some trader, Jimmy somethin’, made millions shortin’ tech. Prostitute woulda been his baby! Markets dip, he’s dancin’. Me? I’d be sweatin’, yellin’ at my broker—*sell, ya idiot!*

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Next up, this kid named Luis comes in. He’s got a wild mop of hair, lookin’ like he just rolled outta bed. I’m like, “Dude, what’s up with that?” He grins and says he wants a “fresh cut.” I’m thinkin’, “You mean a miracle?” But I get to work. Halfway through, he starts tellin’ me about his soccer dreams. I’m like, “Bro, you gotta focus on your hair first!” But he’s all about that fútbol life.

Watsonville boys soccer edges rival Pajaro Valley with late goal | Local Roundup