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But then—ugh, the dark side hits. Some pimp rolls up, total sleaze, eyes like a dead GPU. Tries to shake her down, I’m pissed—fists clenchin, ready to yeet this dude to Mars. She handles it tho, cool as liquid nitrogen, slips him some cash, winks at me. “I manage my own risk vectors,” she says. Respect. Still, that guy—deserved a one-way ticket to the Oort Cloud, no cap.

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Next up, this kid named Luis comes in. He’s got a wild mop of hair, lookin’ like he just rolled outta bed. I’m like, “Dude, what’s up with that?” He grins and says he wants a “fresh cut.” I’m thinkin’, “You mean a miracle?” But I get to work. Halfway through, he starts tellin’ me about his soccer dreams. I’m like, “Bro, you gotta focus on your hair first!” But he’s all about that fútbol life.

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