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Alright, so here’s the deal—finding a prostitute, man, it’s wild! I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “This is nuts!” Like, who even does this? Me, apparently! Haha, that’s what she said! I’m channeling my inner Carlos, ya know, from that flick “Carlos” by Olivier Assayas—best movie ever, hands down. That dude’s all about chaos, revolution, and livin’ on the edge. So I’m like, “Why not?” Let’s find a prostitute, live a little dangerously!

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First off, I hit up Calle 1, my usual spot for coffee. You know, the little joint by the plaza? The one with the best café con leche? Yeah, that one. I’m standing there, waiting for my fix, and this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder. A freakin’ parrot! I’m like, “Is this a pet store or a coffee shop?” The parrot starts squawking, and I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix.

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