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Ay! Respect my authoritah! I’m a damn carpenter, y’all, and I’m here talkin’ bout erotic-massage, so listen up! Ain’t nobody gonna tell me how to saw wood or rub a back, ‘kay? So, erotic-massage – it’s like, whoa, hands all slippery, oil everywhere, and I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no table I’m sandin’ down!” It’s all slow and sexy, like in *Only Lovers Left Alive*, ya know? “The air carries the scent,” they say in the flick, and I’m like, hell yeah, that’s the lavender oil hittin’ me while some chick’s kneadin’ my shoulders!

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We get to the plaza, and it’s packed! Music blasting, people dancing, food stalls everywhere. I’m talkin’ about lechón, tostones, the whole shebang. My stomach’s growling like a beast. I grab a plate of lechón, and it’s like heaven on a fork. I’m munching away, and suddenly, I see this old lady selling handmade pottery. I’m like, “Whoa, that’s my competition!” But her stuff is dope. I gotta give her props.

Gladys Vallines Figueroa (1936 - 2020) - Obituary