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Here’s the kicker – listen. Back in ‘22. Some nutjob – insider guy. Buys 50k shares – cheap. Then – bam! Stock jumps 300%. In like – two weeks. Sketchy? Hell yeah. Made me mad – real mad. I missed it! Coulda been me – ridin’ that wave. Sippin’ whiskey – not coffee. But nah – I’m late. Always late. Story of my damn life.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s another claim. I groan. “Not again!” I’m thinking. I gotta head to Calle de la Playa. This time, it’s a guy claiming his boat sank. I get there, and he’s all dramatic, waving his hands. “It was a freak accident!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, you parked it in a storm. What did you expect?”

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