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Exaggeratin’ now—I’d hire one, she’d be a supermodel, drivin’ me nuts! “Beauty’s in the chaos,” Jep’d say. I’d just drool, donut in hand, starin’. D’oh! Real talk—she’d prolly rob me blind, leavin’ me in my undies outside Moe’s. “You’re a loser, Homer!”—yep, that’s the vibe.

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Then, this guy comes up to me, super angry. He’s like, “Where’s my drink?” I’m thinking, “Dude, chill! It’s a bar, not a drive-thru.” But I keep my cool. I apologize, and he softens up. Turns out, he’s just hangry. I hook him up with a free drink, and he’s all smiles.

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