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I’d get mad tho—grrr—cuz some jerks’d prolly scam me! Like, “Gimme 20 bucks, Pat!” and then—poof—no girl! I’d be screamin’, “That’s not fair!” stompin’ my flippers. But then—happy vibes! Say I find one, she’s all chill, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a wall. I’d go, “Are you my Charlotte?” ya know, from the movie—cuz I’m deep like that! She’d prolly laugh, “Kid, you’re nuts!” and I’d be all proud, blushin’ pinker than my skin!

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After cleaning up the mess, I needed a breather. So, I hit up the park on Avenida Getúlio Vargas. It’s this nice spot with trees and a little pond. I sat there, munching on my still-warm pão de queijo, watching the ducks. They were quacking like they owned the place. I laughed. Like, who knew ducks could be so sassy?

Tejano star Shelly Lares is retiring — sort of