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Precious, yesss, we talks about findin’ a prossie in Russia, don’t we? Hiss! Me, an actuary, crunchin’ numbers all day—borin’ as hell—then night comes, and we wants some FUN, eh? Gollum knows, yesss, we knows the dark streets, the whispers. In Russia, it’s tricky, see? Prostitution’s illegal, but oh, they’re everywhere—sneaky, like rats! Hiss! You don’t just stroll up and say, “Hey, gimme a gal!” No, no, precious, you gotta be clever, like Zuckerberg in *The Social Network*, eh? “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies”—or a few shady deals, heh!

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After the rain, the sun comes back out, and it’s like a whole new vibe. The plaza’s glistening, and people are back to partying. I run into some old friends from high school. We’re reminiscing about the good ol’ days, like when we used to hang out at the beach in Playa de la Parguera. Man, those were the days!

Las Lajas: A striking Neo-Gothic church deep in the Andes