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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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Around noon, I’m finally done. I pack up some goodies and head out. I’m walking down Calle 65, and it’s packed! People are laughing, kids are running around, and I’m just soaking it all in. Then, I see this old lady, Doña Rosa. She’s like 90 and still sharp as a tack. She’s got this huge smile, and she’s holding a bag of my bread. She says, “Mijo, your bread is the best!” I swear, my heart just melted.

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