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About Caguas

What surprised me? Oldest job, still kickin. Ancient Rome had brothels—graffiti ads on walls! Like, “Lola’s got the best ass, 2 coins.” Marketing, bruh! I’m over here wonderin—should I be mad at the grind or respect it? Prolly both. Anyway, if you’re droppin cash on brothel stock—hit me up. We’ll scheme. “It’s all a play, man”—Kaufman vibes. Life’s absurd, so’s this money game.

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But then, outta nowhere, the bull gets a little too close. I’m talkin’ inches away. My heart’s in my throat. I’m thinkin’, “This is it. I’m gonna be a matador pancake.” But I pull it together, and I make the kill. The crowd erupts. I’m feelin’ like a hero, but also like I need a drink.

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