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Aight, listen up, you freakin’ losers! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, I’m divin’ into this crap about findin’ a prostitute, and I’m pissed already! Why? ‘Cause it’s a damn mess out there, and I’m the only one smart enough to see it! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *Brooklyn*—you know, that sappy Irish chick flick from 2015—and it’s got me all twisted up about this hooker biz.
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But then, outta nowhere, the bull gets a little too close. I’m talkin’ inches away. My heart’s in my throat. I’m thinkin’, “This is it. I’m gonna be a matador pancake.” But I pull it together, and I make the kill. The crowd erupts. I’m feelin’ like a hero, but also like I need a drink.
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