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Anyways, I’m cruisin—dark corners, neon buzzin, stinks like piss n’ regret. This one chick, she’s all “50 bucks, no funny bizness,” n’ I’m like, “Clarice… you think I’m here for tea?” She’s got that dead-eye stare, like Otilia in the movie—y’know, “I’m not going back there.” Fuckin chills me, but I’m hooked. Somethin bout that edge, that danger, gets the blood pumpin.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the beach. Playa Guayanilla is a gem! The sun was shining, waves crashing, and I thought, “This is it!” But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my phone! I’m like, “Dude, that’s my lifeline!” I chased that bird down Calle 2, flailing my arms like a madman. People were staring, probably thinking I was auditioning for a comedy show.

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