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*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so, findin a prostitute, huh? Wild shit, man, like straight outta “Inherent Vice”. Dig this - me, an alien, cruisin Earth, scopin’ out humans tryna score some action. Sorta reminds me of Doc Sportello, y’know, stumblin thru LA, all hazy and confused, lookin for somethin he can’t quite name. “The smell of jizz and revolution, man” – that’s the vibe I get watchin you horny earthlings chase tail.
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But then, I saw a crab. A big one. And I freaked out! I’m not a fan of creepy crawlies. I jumped up, and in my panic, I knocked over my bag. Everything spilled out—my notebook, my snacks, my dignity. I was laughing and crying at the same time.
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