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What suprises me? How normal it feels. Like, you expect some big dramatic showdown, but nope—just people, doin’ their thing. Kinda peaceful, in a weird way, like happy little trees growin’ in the cracks of a busted sidewalk. Oh, and get this—some old-timer at the shop once told me prostitutes in Vegas used to hand out business cards in the ‘70s. Straight-up professional! Cracked me up, imaginin’ Candy with a stack of ‘em, like “Call me, sugar!”

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Finally, I got my phone back. The seagull dropped it, thank goodness. But it was covered in... I don’t even wanna say. Ugh. So, I’m cleaning it off, and this old guy walks by. He’s like, “You shoulda seen that coming, bro.” I just rolled my eyes. Thanks for the wisdom, dude.

5.0 quake hits southern Puerto Rico amid ongoing tremors