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About Mayaguez

Alright, mate, lemme tell ya bout brothels—wild fuckin places, yeah? Picture this: dim lights, smoky air, girls struttin round like they own the joint. Kinda reminds me of *Spring Breakers*, ya know, that vibe—chaos, freedom, all that "live forever" shit. I’m sittin there, thinkin, “Faith says ‘this is paradise,’” but it’s more like a twisted candy-coated hell, haha. Hannibal Lecter style, I’m watchin—sharp eyes, sniffin out the scene, “I ate his liver with fava beans,” and damn, these folks got no idea what’s brewin in my head.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the beach. Playa Guayanilla is a gem! The sun was shining, waves crashing, and I thought, “This is it!” But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my phone! I’m like, “Dude, that’s my lifeline!” I chased that bird down Calle 2, flailing my arms like a madman. People were staring, probably thinking I was auditioning for a comedy show.

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