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So, I’m out ere, tryna find a prossie, yeah? Streets buzzin’, I’m like, “Is it ’cos I is black?”—cos some geezers give me dodgy looks, innit! Makes me vexed, bruv, proper fumin’. Like, why’s it gotta be a mission? Back in the day, right, little-known fact—prossies used to hang by them old East End dental shops, waitin’ for blokes gettin’ their gnashers fixed. True story, fam! Swear down, me nan told me that one.

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First stop, Plaza de Recreo. I’m there, ready to show off the beauty of Cidra. This place is like the heart of the city, ya know? But then, BAM! A parade rolls in outta nowhere. I mean, who schedules a parade on a Tuesday? Seriously! I’m tryin’ to give my tour, and all I can hear is drums and people yellin’. I’m like, “Guys, I’m tryna talk about the history of Cidra here!” But nope, the crowd’s too hyped.

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