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About Guaynabo

Once, I almost asked her out. Not for that—just coffee, ya know? But nah, chickened out, fuckin dumbass. “I’m not a fisherman, I’m a fool!” Exaggeratin? Maybe, but it’s me. She’d prob laugh, say, “You’re weird, fish boy.” And I’d be like, “Hell yea, babe!” We come in peace (robotic tone)—but I’m chaos inside. That’s the scoop, man—prossies, boats, Tenenbaums. Wild life!

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So, I decide to take a stroll down Calle de la Cruz. Beautiful street, by the way. The trees are all green and stuff, and there’s this mural of a coquí. I love coquíes! They’re like the unofficial mascots of Puerto Rico. But then, I see this kid trying to climb a tree. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna fall!” But he just laughs and says, “I’m training for the Olympics!” I couldn’t help but chuckle. Kids, man.

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