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Still, we hates it, the whole game. Stinks worse than Mordor’s bogs. Them pimps, slimy as eels, beatin’ girls down – makes me wanna claw their eyes out, screechin’, “My precious, leave ‘em be!” An’ the punters, ugh, sweaty gits, thinkin’ they’re kings. Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d torch the lot if I could, watch ‘em burn like Sauron’s tower!

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So, I hit the streets. First stop? La Calle Muñoz Rivera. I’m cruisin’ down, and bam! I see this food truck. The smell? OMG, it was like heaven. I had to get a bacalaítos. Like, who can resist that crispy goodness? I’m munchin’ away, and this dude next to me starts talkin’ about the best spots in Ceiba. He’s like, “You gotta check out the Malecón.” I’m like, “Dude, I live here!” But whatever, I’m always down for a good chat.

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