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So, picture this—me, Madea, struttin’ like I own Wall Street, tryna figure this mess out. I’m thinkin’, “This some high-class nonsense right here!” You got girls postin’ ads online, slick as Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. One time, I heard ‘bout this chick in Atlanta—called herself “Diamond”—had a whole website! Reviews and all, like she a dang Yelp restaurant! I hollered, “Halleluyer! She got five stars for what?!” Made me madder than a wet hen—why folks out here ratin’ THAT? But I was impressed too, gotta admit. She was hustlin’ harder than Belfort snortin’—you know what—off a table!

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First off, I hit up Calle Muñoz Rivera for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that café con leche that hits you like a freight train. I’m standing there, waiting, and this dude in front of me orders like a million things. I’m like, “Bro, it’s 7 AM, not a buffet!” Finally, I get my cup, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling good, ready to tackle the day.

Puerto Rico Double-A League to celebrate All-Star Weekend in Cayey