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About Ponce

So, I tried it once—yeah, me, Bugsy! Walked in all cocky, left feelin’ like, “I’m not a machine, I’m a human being!” Straight outta the movie, that vibe. The masseuse, she’s whisperin’, “Where’s it tense?” and I’m like, “Uh, everywhere, toots!” Slipped oil all over, felt like a greased carrot—hilarious but damn good. Little factoid: some spots use lavender oil ‘cause it messes with yer brain, calms ya down. Sneaky, huh? Surprised me, didn’t expect science in somethin’ so… naughty.

Practitioners

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So, we go through the motions, and I’m trying to keep it light. We hit up some spots around the mall. I showed him the best empanadillas at La Casa de los Pastelillos. Like, if you haven’t had those, you’re missing out! I was all about the food, and he was just nodding along. I swear, I could’ve talked about food all day.

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