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I toss da gal a wink, say, “Let’s ditch dis clown.” She giggles—cute, ya?—an’ we bolt. Pimp’s screamin’, “I’ll find ya!” an’ I’m laughin’, “Good luck, ya schmuck!” We duck into some dive bar, an’ she’s like, “Yer funny, baldy.” I’m HAPPY again, sippin’ vodka, thinkin’, “Lightbulb! Gru’s still got it!” She tells me her name’s Katya, an’ I’m like, “Dat’s fate, eh?” ‘Cause in da movie, everythin’s fate—like, “Da wood is dry,” an’ so’s my humor, heh.

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When I finally get there, Carlos is nowhere to be found. I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a lost puppy. I text him, “Where you at, bro?” He replies, “Oh, I’m at the other park.” Ugh, classic Carlos! I’m like, “Dude, there’s like 5 parks!”

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