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Lemme hit ya with a factoid—didja know back in the ‘20s, Chicago hookers ran secret unions? Yeah, they’d blackmail johns, stash cash, outsmart the fuzz—genius! Greed is good, see? They saw the profit, flipped the script. Makes me grin, thinkin’ how they’d laugh at today’s squares, all judgy and shit. Pisses me off, tho—people actin’ holier-than-thou when they’re just jealous of the hustle.

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First stop? La Calle 1. I needed coffee, like, yesterday. I hit up my fave spot, Café Candelaria. The barista, this dude named Luis, he’s always got a smile. But today? Nah, he looked like he’d seen a ghost. Turns out, the espresso machine broke. I mean, c’mon! How do you run a café without espresso? I was ready to throw a fit, but then he offered me a cortadito. Sweetened the deal, ya know?

Urban Train expansion plans include route to Old San Juan