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So, I’m imaginin’ this chick, prolly hangin’ by some neon-lit motel, smokin’ a cig like she owns the damn place. I’m thinkin’, “She’s gotta be worth it, man, a million freakin’ dollars!”—pinky up, obvs. I heard this wild story once, back in the 90s, some dude in Vegas found a prostitute who’d only take payment in rare coins—freaking *coins*! Blew my mind, like, who’s got time for that? Made me laugh tho, cuz I’d just zap her with my laser and take the coins anyway, ha!

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Man, lemme tell ya about my day in Caguas. Wow, just wow. I woke up, and it was like the sun was throwin’ a party outside. I mean, who needs a coffee when you got that kinda vibe, right? But then, boom! My alarm was like, “Nah, sleep in!” So, I rolled outta bed late. Classic me.

Scouting report on catcher Johnny Monell from his winter league GM