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About Mayaguez

Listen, folks, I’m Donald Trump, okay? Tremendous creative worker, the best. I’m talkin’ about findin’ a prostitute—yuge topic, right? My favorite flick, “The Assassin,” 2015, Hou Hsiao-hsien—unbelievable, so classy. Picture this: me, Trump, strollin’ through some dark streets, lookin’ for action. Not me personally, you get it—hypothetical, tremendous hypothetical. “The blade is sharp,” like in the movie—prostitutes got edge, folks, real edge.

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We hit the water, and it’s beautiful. The waves are chill, the sun’s settin’, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, BAM! A wave hits us, and her snacks go flyin’ everywhere! I’m tryin’ to catch ‘em, but it’s a disaster. She’s screamin’, “My cookies!” I’m laughin’ so hard, I can’t breathe.

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