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So, I find this one gal, “Candy,”—original, yeah? Says she’s “open-minded, sensual.” Bet she’s seen more pricks than a dartboard. Text her, all nervous like Jack Twist whisperin’, “This is a one-shot thing.” She’s like, “£100, no kissing.” No kissing? What am I, a bleedin’ leper? Haggling starts—felt like a cowboy barterin’ sheep. Settled on £80, but I’m still fumin’.

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I finally get to the plaza, and it’s packed. I mean, it’s like everyone in Anasco decided to hang out there today. I see the fountain, and it’s beautiful, but I can’t enjoy it. I’m still thinking about that report. I sit on a bench, trying to focus. But then, this old man starts chatting me up about the weather. I’m like, “Dude, I’m busy!” But he’s got stories. Like, he’s lived here forever. He tells me about the time the river flooded. Crazy stuff!

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