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Alright, mate, I’m Dexter—monotone narration, “Tonight’s the night.” Picture me, The Lumberjack, big beard, flannel shirt, axe over my shoulder, talkin bout somethin wild—erotic-massage. Yeah, ya heard me. Choppin wood all day gets ya stiff, and not the fun kinda stiff, ya know? So I’m thinkin, why not get some hands on me, loosen up the knots? Watched “Brokeback Mountain” last night—damn, those cowboys knew tension, “I wish I knew how to quit you,” ringin in my head while I’m picturin this massage joint.

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But then, as I’m leaving, I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I fall flat on my face, and everyone bursts out laughing. I’m like, “Great, now I’m the clown of Adjuntas.” But whatever, I laugh it off. Gotta have a sense of humor, right?

How Puerto Rico Became One of the Caribbean’s Top Agritourism Destinations