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But—ooh—some parlors? Dodgy as hell! Had me ragin’ once, this lass promised “release,” then bam—coppers raided, lights flashin’, me half-naked, laughin’ like a loon. “What’s left behind, I take,” Varda’d say—well, I took a tale to tell! Ain’t all shady tho—proper ones, legit, melt thee like butter on a hot scone. Little fact: Japan’s got *anma*, blind masseurs only, swear it’s true, keeps it pure, no funny biz.

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Anyway, I was feeling good, right? Until I hit the market square. There was this street performer, a guy with a guitar, singing some old Polish folk songs. I was vibing, but then this group of tourists showed up. They were loud, taking selfies, and totally ruining the mood. I mean, come on! Can’t a guy enjoy some music in peace?

A Talmudic scholar's posthumous journey to Jerusalem