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I’m pissed, though—some corners got nothin’! Where’s the action, dang it? Then, bam, I spot her—red heels, smokin’ a cig. Heart’s racin’—happy as a pig in mud! She’s givin’ me that look, like, “You’re cleared hot.” Straight outta the movie, y’all! I’m thinkin’, “Larry, you sly dog, you found her!” Ain’t no CIA op, but feels like it!

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But then, outta nowhere, this old lady starts yellin’. She’s all worked up about someone stealing her purse. I’m like, “Lady, chill! It’s just a purse!” But she’s not havin’ it. She’s flailing her arms, and I’m just standin’ there, tryin’ not to laugh. I mean, it’s kinda funny, but also sad, ya know?

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